are you so shy because you have an std?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
