i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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