U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
