miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
