In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
