Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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