I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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