Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
vagina is talking i cant
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
