how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
