I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
