I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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