My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize