were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
