Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize