You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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