youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
