what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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