Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She has the best kind of daddy issues
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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