i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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