yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
