we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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