y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
