Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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