he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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