exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
