hell yes lets make some ravioli
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
