what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
