I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
