Your dad touched me again.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Did I show you my penis last night?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
