dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the condom got lost in my hair
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
