so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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