bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
