PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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