hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sorry about my life...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
