Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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