oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
