I'm pants shitting drunk right now
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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