The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
