i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
