how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
