i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Less talking, more tequila
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
