were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
