if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize