I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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