is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize