Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
