Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
