Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize