I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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