was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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