so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
