ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
