Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize