Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
