His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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