did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
