So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
