Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
