I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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