yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
high people should be assigned attendants
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
