I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
