She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How does it feel to date your dad?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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