He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
