This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
