I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
