You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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