At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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