You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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