At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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