C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
