dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
